"Sometimes I think that candy is the greatest thing in the world!"
kupo tells Santa in her letter that she wants a chocolate candy coated tombstone on a golden pedestal engraved with the words "Greatest thig EVAR!". NOT a mouse or a vibrator, or half a sex-doll.
Chrono Crow sort-kinda-drew:
pitnyelder somehow wrote:
She didn't appreciate the gifts one bit, and she unleashed a hateful torrent of invective to show her dissatisfaction.
Beef Boullionaire Joyboy then spewed forth a torrent of:
Dusk Bringer responded insensitively:
The down syndrome woman swore violently as she realised the pink leotard Santa had left under the tree for her was two sizes too small.
Mimiheart artistically rendered the former:
Anouleth made wordy words:
Upon detecting the hiding Santa, the woman in the pink bathing costume emitted a string of loud curse-words.
IglooJeffrey then created beautiful insanity:
SemiNomad interpreted the hieroglyphics as thus:
The cursing gymnast scared Santa Claus as he rounded the corner
Saltine continued on his journey of salty snacks:
The first-place prostitute screamed about the excrement produced by fornicating angels to Santa as he came around the corner with his bag of dead puppies, startling him greatly.
chrismachine then sent me a classified message:
Having walked in to find the world championships of prostitution, Santa Clause now began to wonder what nefarious use his particularly morbid delivery was intended for.
Veepa then lazily reused most of:
Gelatine Cow mooed:
As I arrived with a magnificent gift, the prostitute looked horrified at the prospect of wearing the costume she had been handed. It broke my heart to see him giving it to her, rather than me. Oh well, it would probably clash with all the red I'm wearing.
James's masterpiece was:
The gift of the red astronaut fertility symbol will always be more appreciated than a fountain of love.
PonderThis then closed the sermon with:
Everyone here is severely insane.